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God is like a shitty girlfriend.
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Laughing
Thinking
Like
Shitty
Girlfriend
More quotes by Louis C. K.
If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.
Louis C. K.
I've had, what, two years? Probably five good years. Before that I had twenty years of uncertainty and suffering and ego destruction and poverty. All those things. That'll always outweigh the good times.
Louis C. K.
If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are.
Louis C. K.
I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from.
Louis C. K.
You could drive a rental car until you don't want it. Just get out of it while it's moving and just walk away. No, I don't feel like being in that car any longer. Just call Hertz. Hi, your car is drifting into the intersection of 28th and Broadway, if you're interested. It's now your problem.
Louis C. K.
When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.
Louis C. K.
I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through.
Louis C. K.
The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness.
Louis C. K.
I don't have a room full of writers pitching ideas. It's just me out of my head.
Louis C. K.
There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I hate you.' But to me, it's more interesting to say, 'What is this person like and how do they really think?'
Louis C. K.
I know I'm getting old because there will be times when I'm not even doing anything and I'll think, 'I need to go wipe my ass right now.'
Louis C. K.
Performing comedy, you develop a rhythm of ideas and laughs. I live for it.
Louis C. K.
I don't care about the weight. You know, I'm lucky I'm one of those people - I can eat donuts, whatever, and I just get fat.
Louis C. K.
Black people have slavery. And white people have our own thing-stuff we went though that hurt us that we have to cope with. Like when they took our slaves away. That was really hard for us. So it's pretty even.
Louis C. K.
Life's too short to be an asshole, as an employer or as an employee.
Louis C. K.
The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to.
Louis C. K.
The ability to just sit there. That's being a person.
Louis C. K.
Why can't we have racism that's ignorant but nice? You could have stereotypes that are positive about race. You could say, Those Chinese people, they can fly! You know about the Puerto Ricans? They're made of candy!
Louis C. K.
You can't direct without a good crew.
Louis C. K.
I've tried to do away with lying in my life in the last few years, but it's hard.
Louis C. K.