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I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing.
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Mouths
Baby
Comedy
Funny
Deer
Nothing
Shoot
Feel
Gun
Feels
Would
Mouth
More quotes by Louis C. K.
If you're older, you're smarter. I just believe that. If you're in an argument with someone older than you, you should listen to 'em ... even if they're wrong, their wrongness is rooted in more information than you have.
Louis C. K.
Stereotypically speaking feminists can't take a joke. ::audience boo:: See?
Louis C. K.
The ability to just sit there. That's being a person.
Louis C. K.
I do have very deep, fond memories of my family in Mexico City, but I also remember feeling funny for not speaking English - I was basically an immigrant. But I picked up the language fast and soon I knew that I wanted to be a writer.
Louis C. K.
Spend time with your kids and have your own ideas about what they need. It won't take away your manhood it will give it to you.
Louis C. K.
Anytime you see a bit where some stranger does something to me, it's me.
Louis C. K.
I wish I could [keep a journal]. I have a lot of journals with one page half written in. I sometimes will write myself a quick email on my Blackberry when I think of something.
Louis C. K.
I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that.
Louis C. K.
I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed.
Louis C. K.
When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep.
Louis C. K.
There are people that really live by doing the right thing, but I don't know what that is, I'm really curious about that. I'm really curious about what people think they're doing when they're doing something evil, casually. I think it's really interesting, that we benefit from suffering so much, and we excuse ourselves from it.
Louis C. K.
You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience.
Louis C. K.
I don't care about the weight. You know, I'm lucky I'm one of those people - I can eat donuts, whatever, and I just get fat.
Louis C. K.
I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do.
Louis C. K.
All these words we use, anybody can be a genius now. It used to be you had to have a thought no one ever had before or you had to invent a number. Now, it’s like, “Hey, I’ve got a cup in case we need another cup.” “Dude, you’re a genius!”
Louis C. K.
I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from.
Louis C. K.
When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant, and you sort of get a list from her every day, and you do, you know, you run down the list, and it feels very much like a chore.
Louis C. K.
The part that's difficult is being single, at 41, after 10 years of marriage and two kids. That's like having a bunch of money in a currency of a country that doesn't exist anymore.
Louis C. K.
It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.
Louis C. K.
The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to.
Louis C. K.
