Quote

You can figure out how bad a person you are by how soon after September 11th you masturbated, like how long you waited... and for me it was between the two buildings going down... I had to do it, otherwise they'd win.

Louis C. K.

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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Going
Figures
Long
Building
Like
Comedy
Waited
Winning
Buildings
Funny
September
Two
Otherwise
Persons
Figure
Person
Soon

More quotes by Louis C. K.

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I watch a lot of sports. But when I'm not working, I'm with my daughters every chance I get.
Louis C. K.
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Everything is amazing and nobody is happy
Louis C. K.
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Bill has three goldfish. He buys two more. How many dogs live in London?
Louis C. K.
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Well, I think “likability” is an overused word. I don’t watch people 'cause I like them I watch them because they’re compelling. Sympathetic is a little different... Likable just thins you out. Working to make a character likable is what kills most TV shows.
Louis C. K.
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In 27 years doing this, I've seen a handful of truly great, masterful standup sets. One was Tig Notaro last night at Largo.
Louis C. K.
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Television for a child creates such a high bar of stimulus that nothing else competes. A beautiful day is absolute crap to a kid who watches tv.
Louis C. K.
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One time I was at a swimming pool with my kids, a public pool. I had my daughter, my six year old, on my arm like this. She was like clamped on, and she's kicking. ... And then she got off and another random child just clamped on. It's like a rat. Get off of me. But I love you. I don't know you, kid.
Louis C. K.
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I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do.
Louis C. K.
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I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is.
Louis C. K.
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I am really tired of looking at my hips. I'm seriously really tired of standing naked in the mirror and staring at my hips for hours and hours while muttering, You hips. You hips need to get it together.
Louis C. K.
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I'm close to my audience. I think I have more tools in my box than other guys who might try it. Also, I know how to do this stuff. I know how to write and shoot and edit. I'm technically adept and that helped with the website. You need a big skill set.
Louis C. K.
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If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't.
Louis C. K.
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Apple embodies a lot of what have been defined as feminine traits: an emphasis on intuitive design, intellect, a strong sense of creativity, and that striving to always make the greatest version of something.
Louis C. K.
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I finally have the body I want. It’s easy, actually, you just have to want a really shitty body.
Louis C. K.
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Stand-up is probably the most solo performance in art.
Louis C. K.
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Stereotypically speaking feminists can't take a joke. ::audience boo:: See?
Louis C. K.
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All talking is good, negative and positive. Stabbing is bad talking is good.
Louis C. K.
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A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much.
Louis C. K.
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I don't think it makes any sense to try to get anyone to not talk.
Louis C. K.
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I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through.
Louis C. K.