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If you have something to say, here's what you do: You write it down on a piece of paper, you go out in the lobby, and then you go home and you kill yourself.

Louis C. K.

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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Something
Lobby
Piece
Kill
Paper
Pieces
Write
Home
Writing

More quotes by Louis C. K.

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Comedians and Feminists... are natural enemies, because stereotypically-speaking, feminists can't take a joke and... comedians can't take criticism.
Louis C. K.
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A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much.
Louis C. K.
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You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience.
Louis C. K.
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Black people have slavery. And white people have our own thing-stuff we went though that hurt us that we have to cope with. Like when they took our slaves away. That was really hard for us. So it's pretty even.
Louis C. K.
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I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do.
Louis C. K.
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To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me.
Louis C. K.
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The part that's difficult is being single, at 41, after 10 years of marriage and two kids. That's like having a bunch of money in a currency of a country that doesn't exist anymore.
Louis C. K.
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Performing comedy, you develop a rhythm of ideas and laughs. I live for it.
Louis C. K.
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It's more fun to experience things when you don't know what's going to happen.
Louis C. K.
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There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not 'women gone wild'. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.
Louis C. K.
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I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that.
Louis C. K.
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Everything is amazing and nobody is happy
Louis C. K.
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God is like a shitty girlfriend.
Louis C. K.
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Self-love is a good thing but self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go ‘Uh, I’m kind of an asshole.’
Louis C. K.
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Most Americans have so much crap, that you could lose most of it and still have way more stuff than the average Canadian.
Louis C. K.
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I have a lot of beliefs, and I live by none of them - that's just the way I am they make me feel good about who I am.
Louis C. K.
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When I see two guys kissing, I'm like, how come I can't kiss one of those guys? They look like they're having a good time.
Louis C. K.
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Apple embodies a lot of what have been defined as feminine traits: an emphasis on intuitive design, intellect, a strong sense of creativity, and that striving to always make the greatest version of something.
Louis C. K.
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It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.
Louis C. K.
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I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.
Louis C. K.