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You know the only thing happier than a three-legged dog? A four-legged dog.
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Three
Thing
Legged
Happier
Dog
Four
More quotes by Louis C. K.
I'm not raising the children, I'm raising the grown ups that they're going to be.
Louis C. K.
The only road to good shows is bad ones. Just go start having a bad time, and if you don't give up, you will get better.
Louis C. K.
The thing is, comedy's gone in a weird direction. People are really into ironic comedy and fakeness and cleverness.
Louis C. K.
Comedians and Feminists... are natural enemies, because stereotypically-speaking, feminists can't take a joke and... comedians can't take criticism.
Louis C. K.
Dating is horrible, it's awful. I don't get it. It's like you're standing there: 'Hi. Do you want to have sex and later wish you hadn't?' It's horrible. And it's awkward at 42 because I don't have the body or the drive. I just sit in the car and hope somebody gets in.
Louis C. K.
I remember the day I saw my hair was thinning. I don't remember caring much. I don't care. It's just hair. It never bothered me much. I was pretty young, too. And it happened and is happening very slowly. I have a feeling dead people get really mad when we complain about losing hair.
Louis C. K.
I look around, pretty much 100% of the people driving are texting. And they're killing, everybody's murdering each other with their cars. But people are willing to risk taking a life and ruining their own because they don't want to be alone for a second because it's so hard.
Louis C. K.
The last jobs I had were fixing cars and covering football games for a local access tv station. As in driving the mobile van to the field, setting up 3 cameras, teaching depressed grownups and interns how to use them and directing the game from the van and then wanting to kill myself.
Louis C. K.
There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it.
Louis C. K.
The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling you what it's about and I'm not telling you who's in it.
Louis C. K.
I love being married. It's great. But I hate arguing. I hate fighting. You know what I do now? When we get in an argument, I just take her side against me. It's just easier it goes quicker. She's like, What's wrong with you? And I'm like, I know! Damn it! Argh!
Louis C. K.
Rob McElhenney who runs 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.' That show absolutely kills me and I am stunned by the consistency of greatness it has maintained over what is now a record breaking amount of seasons ... How do you do that for so many years? My 14-year-old daughter and I watch it together and we both laugh crazy hard.
Louis C. K.
I've always got the road. Stand-up makes you so autonomous and self-sufficient that it really helps with that part of show business.
Louis C. K.
It's more fun to experience things when you don't know what's going to happen.
Louis C. K.
I love stand-up more than anything, and I'm so happy to have found a way to use it in the show.
Louis C. K.
It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me.
Louis C. K.
I just always loved comedy and I really wanted to be good at it. And it was heartbreaking, 'cause I started and I wasn't good at it. I was only 17-years-old, so I had a lot to learn about life in general. But I just kept on trying. I was young enough and stupid enough and I had no other choice. I had nothing else I was good at.
Louis C. K.
I watch a lot of sports. But when I'm not working, I'm with my daughters every chance I get.
Louis C. K.
I know I'm getting old because there will be times when I'm not even doing anything and I'll think, 'I need to go wipe my ass right now.'
Louis C. K.
Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.
Louis C. K.