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When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Mouths
President
Doesn
Matter
Bacon
Mouth
More quotes by Louis C. K.
I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.
Louis C. K.
Everybody is different. Some comedy is more musical like Steven Wright. His is a pillar of comedy to me. He invented a whole form and all his jokes are poems. So it's different. I wanted to do it like George Carlin. Now I do it like me.
Louis C. K.
Kids are like buckets of disease that live in your house.
Louis C. K.
Television for a child creates such a high bar of stimulus that nothing else competes. A beautiful day is absolute crap to a kid who watches tv.
Louis C. K.
A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody.
Louis C. K.
I love being married. It's great. But I hate arguing. I hate fighting. You know what I do now? When we get in an argument, I just take her side against me. It's just easier it goes quicker. She's like, What's wrong with you? And I'm like, I know! Damn it! Argh!
Louis C. K.
Sadness is poetic. You're lucky to live sad moments. When you let yourself be sad, your body has antibodies. It has happiness that comes rushing in to meet the sadness.
Louis C. K.
It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.
Louis C. K.
Anytime you see a bit where some stranger does something to me, it's me.
Louis C. K.
I could never sit down and write jokes.
Louis C. K.
I finally have the body I want. It’s easy, actually, you just have to want a really shitty body.
Louis C. K.
I do actually use a boxing trainer when I train for stand-up.
Louis C. K.
If you had a jetpack you'd be like I have the shittiest jetpack. Who's your service provider on your jetpack? Did they make the new one? I hate this thing.
Louis C. K.
Life's too short to be an asshole, as an employer or as an employee.
Louis C. K.
Some things I think are very conservative, or very liberal. I think when someone falls into one category for everything, I'm very suspicious. It doesn't make sense to me that you'd have the same solution to every issue.
Louis C. K.
You're a tourist in sexual perversion. I'm a prisoner there.
Louis C. K.
The only road to doing good shows, is doing bad shows.
Louis C. K.
People don't talk to me on airplanes.
Louis C. K.
To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me.
Louis C. K.
I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work.
Louis C. K.
