Quote

Kids are like buckets of disease that live in your house.

Louis C. K.

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Live
Thinking
Like
Buckets
Disease
Laughing
House
Kids

More quotes by Louis C. K.

Image
When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'
Louis C. K.
Image
The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to.
Louis C. K.
Image
I wish I could [keep a journal]. I have a lot of journals with one page half written in. I sometimes will write myself a quick email on my Blackberry when I think of something.
Louis C. K.
Image
Dating is horrible, it's awful. I don't get it. It's like you're standing there: 'Hi. Do you want to have sex and later wish you hadn't?' It's horrible. And it's awkward at 42 because I don't have the body or the drive. I just sit in the car and hope somebody gets in.
Louis C. K.
Image
I was in a hotel room in Dallas, and I was jerking off so much and so sadly and pathetically, that the phone rang, and I thought it's them, they're complaining. ... Sir, could you please stop?
Louis C. K.
Image
I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do.
Louis C. K.
Image
Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.
Louis C. K.
Image
If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't.
Louis C. K.
Image
The only road to doing good shows, is doing bad shows.
Louis C. K.
Image
Rob McElhenney who runs 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.' That show absolutely kills me and I am stunned by the consistency of greatness it has maintained over what is now a record breaking amount of seasons ... How do you do that for so many years? My 14-year-old daughter and I watch it together and we both laugh crazy hard.
Louis C. K.
Image
Perception is created and twisted so quickly.
Louis C. K.
Image
Everybody is different. Some comedy is more musical like Steven Wright. His is a pillar of comedy to me. He invented a whole form and all his jokes are poems. So it's different. I wanted to do it like George Carlin. Now I do it like me.
Louis C. K.
Image
The last jobs I had were fixing cars and covering football games for a local access tv station. As in driving the mobile van to the field, setting up 3 cameras, teaching depressed grownups and interns how to use them and directing the game from the van and then wanting to kill myself.
Louis C. K.
Image
I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that.
Louis C. K.
Image
Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.
Louis C. K.
Image
The only road to good shows is bad ones. Just go start having a bad time, and if you don't give up, you will get better.
Louis C. K.
Image
When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.
Louis C. K.
Image
I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...
Louis C. K.
Image
When my kids were younger, I used to avoid them. I used to sit on the toilet 'til my legs fell asleep. You want to know why your father spends so long in the toilet? Because he's not sure he wants to be a father.
Louis C. K.
Image
Sadness is poetic. You're lucky to live sad moments. When you let yourself be sad, your body has antibodies. It has happiness that comes rushing in to meet the sadness.
Louis C. K.