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I finally have the body I want. It’s easy, actually, you just have to want a really shitty body.
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Laughing
Actually
Easy
Body
Really
Thinking
Shitty
Finally
More quotes by Louis C. K.
Perception is created and twisted so quickly.
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I just love learning. I think learning is how you live. The verb of my life is learning.
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I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.
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The ability to just sit there. That's being a person.
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If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't.
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To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me.
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I watch a lot of sports. But when I'm not working, I'm with my daughters every chance I get.
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You can't direct without a good crew.
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Spend time with your kids and have your own ideas about what they need. It won't take away your manhood it will give it to you.
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There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not 'women gone wild'. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.
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My show is sort of a short-film anthology, and I'm able to tell little stories that don't necessarily carry a whole episode in terms of narrative. I like the audience not being sure what they're getting. I think it's more fun to watch something when you're discovering it as you go along.
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I've always got the road. Stand-up makes you so autonomous and self-sufficient that it really helps with that part of show business.
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God is like a shitty girlfriend.
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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.
Louis C. K.
A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody.
Louis C. K.
Human kindness has no reward. You should give to others in every way you see. expect absolutely nothing from anyone. It should be your goal to love every human you encounter. All human suffering that you're aware of and continues without your effort to stop it becomes your crime.
Louis C. K.
A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much.
Louis C. K.
I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It's like old computers that had small memory chips, they would do something called swapping, where they would fill the memory with one task, do it and get it out.
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Bill has three goldfish. He buys two more. How many dogs live in London?
Louis C. K.
In 27 years doing this, I've seen a handful of truly great, masterful standup sets. One was Tig Notaro last night at Largo.
Louis C. K.