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When my kids were younger, I used to avoid them. I used to sit on the toilet 'til my legs fell asleep. You want to know why your father spends so long in the toilet? Because he's not sure he wants to be a father.
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Avoid
Legs
Wants
Toilet
Sure
Spends
Father
Toilets
Kids
Asleep
Used
Fell
Long
Younger
More quotes by Louis C. K.
You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience.
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Everything that's difficult you should be able to laugh about.
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Everybody is different. Some comedy is more musical like Steven Wright. His is a pillar of comedy to me. He invented a whole form and all his jokes are poems. So it's different. I wanted to do it like George Carlin. Now I do it like me.
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I've had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the trash.
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A lot of TV is put together by teams, by writing staffs and several different directors. It's a great, very smart way to make television. It's worked for however long TV's been around.
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Out of the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead. There are way more dead people, and you're all gonna die and then you're gonna be dead for way longer than you're alive. Like that's mostly what you're ever gonna be. You're just dead people that didn't die yet.
Louis C. K.
When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.
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Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.
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If you can survive disappointment, nothing can beat you
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I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through.
Louis C. K.
...Then I got divorced and everything changed, and I became a father in a whole new way and found a whole new set of difficulties.
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Anytime you see a bit where some stranger does something to me, it's me.
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I'm not raising the children, I'm raising the grown ups that they're going to be.
Louis C. K.
Bill has three goldfish. He buys two more. How many dogs live in London?
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Young people don't even consider that it's a good idea to be out on the fringe, which is where good ideas come from.
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When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep.
Louis C. K.
Life's too short to be an asshole, as an employer or as an employee.
Louis C. K.
When I was a kid there was a show called 'Holmes & Yo-Yo' about a robot cop. I LOVED that show and I think it only lasted like three episodes.
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People don't talk to me on airplanes.
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There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it.
Louis C. K.
