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People don't talk to me on airplanes.

Louis C. K.

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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Airplanes
Airplane
Talk
People

More quotes by Louis C. K.

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You could drive a rental car until you don't want it. Just get out of it while it's moving and just walk away. No, I don't feel like being in that car any longer. Just call Hertz. Hi, your car is drifting into the intersection of 28th and Broadway, if you're interested. It's now your problem.
Louis C. K.
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Performing comedy, you develop a rhythm of ideas and laughs. I live for it.
Louis C. K.
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I don't have a room full of writers pitching ideas. It's just me out of my head.
Louis C. K.
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If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.
Louis C. K.
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I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of.
Louis C. K.
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Self-love is a good thing but self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go ‘Uh, I’m kind of an asshole.’
Louis C. K.
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I ate too much and masturbated too recently, you know? It's bad to like jerk off and run out the door, 'cause you run into somebody. Oh, she knows... You got to take some time alone to process the shame.
Louis C. K.
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You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience.
Louis C. K.
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I've had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the trash.
Louis C. K.
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I know I'm getting old because there will be times when I'm not even doing anything and I'll think, 'I need to go wipe my ass right now.'
Louis C. K.
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Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes, remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go, 'Ugh'.
Louis C. K.
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The part that's difficult is being single, at 41, after 10 years of marriage and two kids. That's like having a bunch of money in a currency of a country that doesn't exist anymore.
Louis C. K.
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Apple embodies a lot of what have been defined as feminine traits: an emphasis on intuitive design, intellect, a strong sense of creativity, and that striving to always make the greatest version of something.
Louis C. K.
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Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.
Louis C. K.
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Human kindness has no reward. You should give to others in every way you see. expect absolutely nothing from anyone. It should be your goal to love every human you encounter. All human suffering that you're aware of and continues without your effort to stop it becomes your crime.
Louis C. K.
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A lot of stand-up specials for cable are meant to glorify the comedian. They put you in a really beautiful theater, and sometimes they even blow a little smoke in there to make it misty and sweet. They make the guy look like he's a big rock star. But comedy's not really glamorous. It doesn't enhance comedy for it to look good.
Louis C. K.
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Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.
Louis C. K.
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Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on.
Louis C. K.
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Well, I think “likability” is an overused word. I don’t watch people 'cause I like them I watch them because they’re compelling. Sympathetic is a little different... Likable just thins you out. Working to make a character likable is what kills most TV shows.
Louis C. K.
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The last jobs I had were fixing cars and covering football games for a local access tv station. As in driving the mobile van to the field, setting up 3 cameras, teaching depressed grownups and interns how to use them and directing the game from the van and then wanting to kill myself.
Louis C. K.