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If I owned a network, I would never let a guy just put people on without telling me who they are.
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
People
Owned
Network
Telling
Guy
Without
Never
Would
More quotes by Louis C. K.
If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.
Louis C. K.
When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes.
Louis C. K.
It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.
Louis C. K.
There are people that really live by doing the right thing, but I don't know what that is, I'm really curious about that. I'm really curious about what people think they're doing when they're doing something evil, casually. I think it's really interesting, that we benefit from suffering so much, and we excuse ourselves from it.
Louis C. K.
When my kids were younger, I used to avoid them. I used to sit on the toilet 'til my legs fell asleep. You want to know why your father spends so long in the toilet? Because he's not sure he wants to be a father.
Louis C. K.
Everything that's difficult you should be able to laugh about.
Louis C. K.
Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.
Louis C. K.
If you can survive disappointment, nothing can beat you
Louis C. K.
A lot of TV is put together by teams, by writing staffs and several different directors. It's a great, very smart way to make television. It's worked for however long TV's been around.
Louis C. K.
Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on.
Louis C. K.
Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead.
Louis C. K.
You know when you see a mother someplace just melting down on her kid? She's like, 'Shut up, I hate you, you're ugly!'... Any parents there are thinking, 'What did that shitty kid do to that poor woman? That poor woman. I wish I could help.'
Louis C. K.
You would never do stand-up without an audience. I mean, no one would even consider it. It's like they're the instrument you're playing.
Louis C. K.
I've had soccer moms come up and tell me they can relate when I say that I want to throw my baby in the trash.
Louis C. K.
I find that when people laugh really hard, it's usually because they're connecting and identifying in a way that they hadn't considered. That's my payoff.
Louis C. K.
It's more fun to experience things when you don't know what's going to happen.
Louis C. K.
I do have very deep, fond memories of my family in Mexico City, but I also remember feeling funny for not speaking English - I was basically an immigrant. But I picked up the language fast and soon I knew that I wanted to be a writer.
Louis C. K.
People say there's delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years, a bunch of people used to die on the way there, have a baby, you would end up with a whole different group of people by the time you got there. Now you watch a movie and [go to the toilet] and you're home.
Louis C. K.
Dating is horrible, it's awful. I don't get it. It's like you're standing there: 'Hi. Do you want to have sex and later wish you hadn't?' It's horrible. And it's awkward at 42 because I don't have the body or the drive. I just sit in the car and hope somebody gets in.
Louis C. K.
I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is.
Louis C. K.
