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Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.

Louis C. K.

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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Records
Comedy
Sports
Writing
Thing
Something
Breaking
Like
Expect
Usually

More quotes by Louis C. K.

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I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It's like old computers that had small memory chips, they would do something called swapping, where they would fill the memory with one task, do it and get it out.
Louis C. K.
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I don't care about the weight. You know, I'm lucky I'm one of those people - I can eat donuts, whatever, and I just get fat.
Louis C. K.
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I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad.
Louis C. K.
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Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.
Louis C. K.
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What we've done with our modern food supply is absolute insanity. It's not even real any more. You used to be able to give a kid an apple and they would love it. Kids can't even taste apples any more. Apples taste like paper to kids now.
Louis C. K.
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I could never sit down and write jokes.
Louis C. K.
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The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling you what it's about and I'm not telling you who's in it.
Louis C. K.
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I watch a lot of sports. But when I'm not working, I'm with my daughters every chance I get.
Louis C. K.
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A lot of stand-up specials for cable are meant to glorify the comedian. They put you in a really beautiful theater, and sometimes they even blow a little smoke in there to make it misty and sweet. They make the guy look like he's a big rock star. But comedy's not really glamorous. It doesn't enhance comedy for it to look good.
Louis C. K.
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...Then I got divorced and everything changed, and I became a father in a whole new way and found a whole new set of difficulties.
Louis C. K.
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Spend time with your kids and have your own ideas about what they need. It won't take away your manhood it will give it to you.
Louis C. K.
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There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I hate you.' But to me, it's more interesting to say, 'What is this person like and how do they really think?'
Louis C. K.
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I've always got the road. Stand-up makes you so autonomous and self-sufficient that it really helps with that part of show business.
Louis C. K.
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Why can't we have racism that's ignorant but nice? You could have stereotypes that are positive about race. You could say, Those Chinese people, they can fly! You know about the Puerto Ricans? They're made of candy!
Louis C. K.
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When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.'
Louis C. K.
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All these words we use, anybody can be a genius now. It used to be you had to have a thought no one ever had before or you had to invent a number. Now, it’s like, “Hey, I’ve got a cup in case we need another cup.” “Dude, you’re a genius!”
Louis C. K.
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There’s a need to perfect things in a writers’ room, and that can take a lot of fun out of a show sometimes. It’s a struggle. It depends on your personality. Some people love working with a writing staff. I had a great writing staff on Lucky Louie, but it sometimes felt like Congress or something.
Louis C. K.
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Life's too short to be an asshole, as an employer or as an employee.
Louis C. K.
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I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing.
Louis C. K.
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The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them.
Louis C. K.