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Anytime you see a bit where some stranger does something to me, it's me.

Louis C. K.

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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Something
Anytime
Stranger
Bits
Doe

More quotes by Louis C. K.

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When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant, and you sort of get a list from her every day, and you do, you know, you run down the list, and it feels very much like a chore.
Louis C. K.
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I was raised by a hard-working single mother, so my first role model was a woman. My only caretaker was a woman, and I have three sisters, so my community was girls. I have two girls, and my dog is a girl. My dead dog was a girl. I don't know. I guess I've always keyed in on that perspective.
Louis C. K.
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I am really tired of looking at my hips. I'm seriously really tired of standing naked in the mirror and staring at my hips for hours and hours while muttering, You hips. You hips need to get it together.
Louis C. K.
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The last jobs I had were fixing cars and covering football games for a local access tv station. As in driving the mobile van to the field, setting up 3 cameras, teaching depressed grownups and interns how to use them and directing the game from the van and then wanting to kill myself.
Louis C. K.
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Everybody is different. Some comedy is more musical like Steven Wright. His is a pillar of comedy to me. He invented a whole form and all his jokes are poems. So it's different. I wanted to do it like George Carlin. Now I do it like me.
Louis C. K.
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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.
Louis C. K.
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It's more fun to experience things when you don't know what's going to happen.
Louis C. K.
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I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from.
Louis C. K.
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I wish I could [keep a journal]. I have a lot of journals with one page half written in. I sometimes will write myself a quick email on my Blackberry when I think of something.
Louis C. K.
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There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I hate you.' But to me, it's more interesting to say, 'What is this person like and how do they really think?'
Louis C. K.
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You know what, it's not your life, it's life. Life is bigger than you, if you can imagine that. Life isn't something that you possess, it's something that you take part in and witness.
Louis C. K.
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It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.
Louis C. K.
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People say there's delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years, a bunch of people used to die on the way there, have a baby, you would end up with a whole different group of people by the time you got there. Now you watch a movie and [go to the toilet] and you're home.
Louis C. K.
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I'm not raising the children, I'm raising the grown ups that they're going to be.
Louis C. K.
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Comedians and Feminists... are natural enemies, because stereotypically-speaking, feminists can't take a joke and... comedians can't take criticism.
Louis C. K.
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I would rather be with my kids than anybody else.
Louis C. K.
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Sadness is poetic. You're lucky to live sad moments. When you let yourself be sad, your body has antibodies. It has happiness that comes rushing in to meet the sadness.
Louis C. K.
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I do have very deep, fond memories of my family in Mexico City, but I also remember feeling funny for not speaking English - I was basically an immigrant. But I picked up the language fast and soon I knew that I wanted to be a writer.
Louis C. K.
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I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing.
Louis C. K.
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What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you
Louis C. K.