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A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody.
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Hurt
Everybody
Names
Ketchup
Doesn
Household
Like
Anybody
Wants
Name
More quotes by Louis C. K.
When I was a kid there was a show called 'Holmes & Yo-Yo' about a robot cop. I LOVED that show and I think it only lasted like three episodes.
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I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad.
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I just love learning. I think learning is how you live. The verb of my life is learning.
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Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on.
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Everything is amazing and nobody is happy
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Everything that's difficult you should be able to laugh about.
Louis C. K.
Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.
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I would rather be with my kids than anybody else.
Louis C. K.
I don't think it makes any sense to try to get anyone to not talk.
Louis C. K.
God is like a shitty girlfriend.
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There’s a need to perfect things in a writers’ room, and that can take a lot of fun out of a show sometimes. It’s a struggle. It depends on your personality. Some people love working with a writing staff. I had a great writing staff on Lucky Louie, but it sometimes felt like Congress or something.
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All these words we use, anybody can be a genius now. It used to be you had to have a thought no one ever had before or you had to invent a number. Now, it’s like, “Hey, I’ve got a cup in case we need another cup.” “Dude, you’re a genius!”
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You know when you see a mother someplace just melting down on her kid? She's like, 'Shut up, I hate you, you're ugly!'... Any parents there are thinking, 'What did that shitty kid do to that poor woman? That poor woman. I wish I could help.'
Louis C. K.
Spend time with your kids and have your own ideas about what they need. It won't take away your manhood it will give it to you.
Louis C. K.
One time I was at a swimming pool with my kids, a public pool. I had my daughter, my six year old, on my arm like this. She was like clamped on, and she's kicking. ... And then she got off and another random child just clamped on. It's like a rat. Get off of me. But I love you. I don't know you, kid.
Louis C. K.
Dating is horrible, it's awful. I don't get it. It's like you're standing there: 'Hi. Do you want to have sex and later wish you hadn't?' It's horrible. And it's awkward at 42 because I don't have the body or the drive. I just sit in the car and hope somebody gets in.
Louis C. K.
Black people have slavery. And white people have our own thing-stuff we went though that hurt us that we have to cope with. Like when they took our slaves away. That was really hard for us. So it's pretty even.
Louis C. K.
Most Americans have so much crap, that you could lose most of it and still have way more stuff than the average Canadian.
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I could never sit down and write jokes.
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I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing.
Louis C. K.
