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I'm not motivated to entertain people through Twitter, so just by having Twitter and not saying anything, I make people mad.
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Anything
Make
People
Entertain
Twitter
Motivated
Mad
Saying
More quotes by Louis C. K.
Self-love is a good thing but self-awareness is more important. You need to once in a while go ‘Uh, I’m kind of an asshole.’
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You know the only thing happier than a three-legged dog? A four-legged dog.
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I would rather be with my kids than anybody else.
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I love being married. It's great. But I hate arguing. I hate fighting. You know what I do now? When we get in an argument, I just take her side against me. It's just easier it goes quicker. She's like, What's wrong with you? And I'm like, I know! Damn it! Argh!
Louis C. K.
If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the eye, it doesn't make any noise and your eye is swollen for, like, six months. It's a nightmare to get punched in the eye.
Louis C. K.
It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.
Louis C. K.
Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on.
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Everything is amazing and nobody is happy
Louis C. K.
If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.
Louis C. K.
Performing comedy, you develop a rhythm of ideas and laughs. I live for it.
Louis C. K.
Stereotypically speaking feminists can't take a joke. ::audience boo:: See?
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I don't have a room full of writers pitching ideas. It's just me out of my head.
Louis C. K.
One time I was at a swimming pool with my kids, a public pool. I had my daughter, my six year old, on my arm like this. She was like clamped on, and she's kicking. ... And then she got off and another random child just clamped on. It's like a rat. Get off of me. But I love you. I don't know you, kid.
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Bill has three goldfish. He buys two more. How many dogs live in London?
Louis C. K.
What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you
Louis C. K.
Spend time with your kids and have your own ideas about what they need. It won't take away your manhood it will give it to you.
Louis C. K.
I just love learning. I think learning is how you live. The verb of my life is learning.
Louis C. K.
I'd love to have a shitty job. I couldn't hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I'm an idiot that way.
Louis C. K.
Some things I think are very conservative, or very liberal. I think when someone falls into one category for everything, I'm very suspicious. It doesn't make sense to me that you'd have the same solution to every issue.
Louis C. K.
I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward.
Louis C. K.