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Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it.
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Mess
Approach
Comedy
Even
Way
Polite
Accurate
Correct
More quotes by Louis C. K.
God is like a shitty girlfriend.
Louis C. K.
I'm not raising the children, I'm raising the grown ups that they're going to be.
Louis C. K.
I know I'm getting old because there will be times when I'm not even doing anything and I'll think, 'I need to go wipe my ass right now.'
Louis C. K.
I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that.
Louis C. K.
To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me.
Louis C. K.
Out of the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead. There are way more dead people, and you're all gonna die and then you're gonna be dead for way longer than you're alive. Like that's mostly what you're ever gonna be. You're just dead people that didn't die yet.
Louis C. K.
When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant, and you sort of get a list from her every day, and you do, you know, you run down the list, and it feels very much like a chore.
Louis C. K.
If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't.
Louis C. K.
I have a lot of beliefs, and I live by none of them - that's just the way I am they make me feel good about who I am.
Louis C. K.
There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not 'women gone wild'. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.
Louis C. K.
It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me.
Louis C. K.
Stereotypically speaking feminists can't take a joke. ::audience boo:: See?
Louis C. K.
Black people have slavery. And white people have our own thing-stuff we went though that hurt us that we have to cope with. Like when they took our slaves away. That was really hard for us. So it's pretty even.
Louis C. K.
Very few American parents give a crap about how they raise their kids. They put minimal effort into it. Who told you it's a good idea to buy a developing mind a video game?
Louis C. K.
It's more fun to experience things when you don't know what's going to happen.
Louis C. K.
I watch a lot of sports. But when I'm not working, I'm with my daughters every chance I get.
Louis C. K.
If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.
Louis C. K.
Apple embodies a lot of what have been defined as feminine traits: an emphasis on intuitive design, intellect, a strong sense of creativity, and that striving to always make the greatest version of something.
Louis C. K.
I was raised by a hard-working single mother, so my first role model was a woman. My only caretaker was a woman, and I have three sisters, so my community was girls. I have two girls, and my dog is a girl. My dead dog was a girl. I don't know. I guess I've always keyed in on that perspective.
Louis C. K.
Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes, remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go, 'Ugh'.
Louis C. K.