Quote

Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes, remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go, 'Ugh'.

Louis C. K.

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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
Funny
Ugh
Remember
Starts
Every
Misery
Like
Program
Comedy
Open
Eyes
Eye

More quotes by Louis C. K.

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I do have very deep, fond memories of my family in Mexico City, but I also remember feeling funny for not speaking English - I was basically an immigrant. But I picked up the language fast and soon I knew that I wanted to be a writer.
Louis C. K.
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I love being married. It's great. But I hate arguing. I hate fighting. You know what I do now? When we get in an argument, I just take her side against me. It's just easier it goes quicker. She's like, What's wrong with you? And I'm like, I know! Damn it! Argh!
Louis C. K.
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If you had a jetpack you'd be like I have the shittiest jetpack. Who's your service provider on your jetpack? Did they make the new one? I hate this thing.
Louis C. K.
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You have to do a show as honestly as you can. But you also can't afford skepticism, because it's preparing for failure, which is useless.
Louis C. K.
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Bill has three goldfish. He buys two more. How many dogs live in London?
Louis C. K.
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Apple embodies a lot of what have been defined as feminine traits: an emphasis on intuitive design, intellect, a strong sense of creativity, and that striving to always make the greatest version of something.
Louis C. K.
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When my kids were younger, I used to avoid them. I used to sit on the toilet 'til my legs fell asleep. You want to know why your father spends so long in the toilet? Because he's not sure he wants to be a father.
Louis C. K.
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I don't care about the weight. You know, I'm lucky I'm one of those people - I can eat donuts, whatever, and I just get fat.
Louis C. K.
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You can do eight things. We got it down to eight for you.
Louis C. K.
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The ability to just sit there. That's being a person.
Louis C. K.
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It's hard to know where your thoughts come from, especially when you have a thirst for material because you need it professionally.
Louis C. K.
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You can't direct without a good crew.
Louis C. K.
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What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you
Louis C. K.
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I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of.
Louis C. K.
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I have a lot of beliefs, and I live by none of them - that's just the way I am they make me feel good about who I am.
Louis C. K.
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People say there's delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years, a bunch of people used to die on the way there, have a baby, you would end up with a whole different group of people by the time you got there. Now you watch a movie and [go to the toilet] and you're home.
Louis C. K.
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Very few American parents give a crap about how they raise their kids. They put minimal effort into it. Who told you it's a good idea to buy a developing mind a video game?
Louis C. K.
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If you have something to say, here's what you do: You write it down on a piece of paper, you go out in the lobby, and then you go home and you kill yourself.
Louis C. K.
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Here's how my brain works: It's stupidity, followed by self-hatred, and then further analysis.
Louis C. K.
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When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep.
Louis C. K.