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Some things I think are very conservative, or very liberal. I think when someone falls into one category for everything, I'm very suspicious. It doesn't make sense to me that you'd have the same solution to every issue.
Louis C. K.
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Louis C. K.
Age: 57
Born: 1967
Born: September 12
Actor
Cabaret Artist
Comedian
Dancer
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Showrunner
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Tecamac Municipality
Louis Székely
Louis CK
Louis Szekely
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Every
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Make
Laughing
Suspicious
Things
Issues
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Think
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Falls
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Liberal
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Solution
Someone
Issue
More quotes by Louis C. K.
I've had, what, two years? Probably five good years. Before that I had twenty years of uncertainty and suffering and ego destruction and poverty. All those things. That'll always outweigh the good times.
Louis C. K.
I remember the day I saw my hair was thinning. I don't remember caring much. I don't care. It's just hair. It never bothered me much. I was pretty young, too. And it happened and is happening very slowly. I have a feeling dead people get really mad when we complain about losing hair.
Louis C. K.
When I see two guys kissing, I'm like, how come I can't kiss one of those guys? They look like they're having a good time.
Louis C. K.
The last jobs I had were fixing cars and covering football games for a local access tv station. As in driving the mobile van to the field, setting up 3 cameras, teaching depressed grownups and interns how to use them and directing the game from the van and then wanting to kill myself.
Louis C. K.
I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of.
Louis C. K.
There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not 'women gone wild'. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.
Louis C. K.
Life's too short to be an asshole, as an employer or as an employee.
Louis C. K.
The only road to doing good shows, is doing bad shows.
Louis C. K.
You can do eight things. We got it down to eight for you.
Louis C. K.
People don't talk to me on airplanes.
Louis C. K.
Stereotypically speaking feminists can't take a joke. ::audience boo:: See?
Louis C. K.
I love being married. It's great. But I hate arguing. I hate fighting. You know what I do now? When we get in an argument, I just take her side against me. It's just easier it goes quicker. She's like, What's wrong with you? And I'm like, I know! Damn it! Argh!
Louis C. K.
I do actually use a boxing trainer when I train for stand-up.
Louis C. K.
I've always got the road. Stand-up makes you so autonomous and self-sufficient that it really helps with that part of show business.
Louis C. K.
When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant, and you sort of get a list from her every day, and you do, you know, you run down the list, and it feels very much like a chore.
Louis C. K.
I would rather be with my kids than anybody else.
Louis C. K.
My ex-wife, she really didn't like the material that I did. And that's something I regret, that I wasn't more careful about making sure that she was O.K. with it. I just sort of didn't ask. So that's how that goes.
Louis C. K.
I know I'm getting old because there will be times when I'm not even doing anything and I'll think, 'I need to go wipe my ass right now.'
Louis C. K.
God is like a shitty girlfriend.
Louis C. K.
I finally have the body I want. It’s easy, actually, you just have to want a really shitty body.
Louis C. K.
