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If I were the last person on earth, some moron would turn left in front of me.
Louie Anderson
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Louie Anderson
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: March 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
St Paul
Minnesota
Louis Perry Anderson
Person
Front
Would
Turn
Turns
Lasts
Last
Left
Earth
Moron
Persons
Fronts
More quotes by Louie Anderson
I'm still working! I think of all the other comics that didn't get the light shined on them, just because it's just how fame works, and it's unfortunate. But there are so many great comics out there who are still working, and I still see them.
Louie Anderson
My first words were 'Seconds, please.' Most kids in kindergarten napped on a little rug. I had a braided 9 x 12.
Louie Anderson
I could be an alternative comic. I could be that really dark - I was - I was a very dark comic to begin with. I could be that guy, and the only reason I didn't is that I wanted to make money. I wanted to be popular. I wanted to be liked more than I wanted to be admired.
Louie Anderson
I'm a 7 o'clock act. My people want to go to a show, a dinner and then go home and go to bed.
Louie Anderson
My mom ate every piece of butter in the Midwest, she lived till she was 90. And my dad, he smoked, he drank - we finally just had to kill him.
Louie Anderson
I have a cousin Ernie who buys stuff. He's got a big snowblower that's actually the biggest snowblower you can buy, with a remote control, so he doesn't even have to go outside. He's got the microwave and a satellite dish, it's all in one. He cooks and watches at the same time.
Louie Anderson
My mother loved people and she loved conversation, and she loved to engage with people. She was a really fantastic person. You would've really liked her.
Louie Anderson
When I say, 'I can't stay long, I'm in-between meals,' that plays differently on the radio than it does in person. So I have to pick material that works because the words are funny, not just because of the images.
Louie Anderson
My inspiration is coming more and more from the way I feel and the gratitude I feel. The older you get the more humility you have.
Louie Anderson
After 34 years, I feel like I did when I was starting out. I feel excited and feel I've never been better doing what I do.
Louie Anderson
My mom was a garage sale person, save money. Come on in to the garage sale, you might find a shirt. She'd get in that garage sale and point stuff out to you. There's a good fork for a nickel. Yeah, that's beautiful. It's a little high. If it were three cents I'd snap it up.
Louie Anderson
Dr. Phil was very helpful and caring. I believe he helped all of us there and watching how to better relate, understand, and communicate with our families and loved ones. Dr. Phil recommended reading my new book.
Louie Anderson
I used to do my dad smoked, he drank, we finally had to kill him.
Louie Anderson
I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off. I'll never forget the look on the young boy's face. He was devastated.
Louie Anderson
I felt ashamed for what I had done. I don't have any excuses. I did what I did. I take full responsibility for myself and my actions. I wouldn't pawn this off on anybody. I'm sorry it happened. And I hurt people.
Louie Anderson
I think I'm a better actor now. I mean, I really think I know a lot about acting now. But I didn't know a lot about acting then, in 80's, and I never knew how to be myself. I never knew how to relax and just play it from me. I was always trying to deliver a line.
Louie Anderson
Weight is a glanduar thing, as well as an emotional thing.
Louie Anderson
At Thanksgiving, my mom always makes too much food, especially one item, like 700 or 800 pounds of sweet potatoes. She's got to push it during the meal. Did you get some sweet potatoes? There's sweet potatoes. They're hot. There's more in the oven, some more in the garage. The rest are at the Johnson's.
Louie Anderson
I started a big part of my career in Vegas.
Louie Anderson
You have to not worry or doubt or punish yourself. All the worry, doubt and punishment will not add one second to your life, you know?
Louie Anderson
