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I was going to be a teacher and improve the world. Teach people with hooks for hands to fingerpaint, and teach bums to draw happy faces on beads.

Lloyd Kaufman

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Lloyd Kaufman
Age: 78
Born: 1945
Born: December 30
Actor
Cinematographer
Composer
Film Director
Film Editor
Film Producer
Screenwriter
New York City
New York
Stanley Lloyd Kaufman
Jr.
Teach
Bums
Faces
Hooks
Happy
Beads
Hands
Hook
Going
Improve
World
Draw
People
Draws
Teacher

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I majored in Chinese Studies. I'm probably the only director of chicken Indian zombie movies who can speak pretty good Mandarin.
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My favorite film is always the one that I most recently worked on.
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There is no way I could have ever dared to make a documentary, much less have the money to make a documentary, if it was on 16mm. But, with the magic of digital.
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I like fat people more then I like thin people, things are always a lot more funnier when they happen to fat people.
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The thing I find about the movie industry is that 99 percent of the people are absolute scum. They're horrible people, they really are. Very nasty killer rabbits who hate movies. But the other 1 percent are really the greatest, most wonderful people in the world.
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My roommate at Yale University introduced me to the auteur theory of filmmaking. I soon became a big fan of the works of John Ford, Kenji Mizoguchi, Ernst Lubitsch, and Stan Brakhage. I then decided to make my own films!
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Luckily, I've never been offered a directing job that was lucrative. I've never heard, Here's $800,000 to remake Sisters.
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I would only make a movie that I believe in. If I didn't believe in it, it would be unworthy.
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I didn't even know what a film director was. To me, Charlie Chaplin was a goofy clown, and John Ford - what? Never heard of him.
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Mickey Mouse should be in the public domain by now. What a better world it would be if other people were doing things with Mickey Mouse!
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Being a gay married man, I love Broadway musicals.
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I believe that independent film making is the last frontier of creative expression available. So I'm always willing to lend a helping hand to a young film maker who's just getting into the business.
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In our racist, sexist society, Christmas is the 8 hours when we stop killing each other and gratuitous over eating is encouraged so that the starving and other people in the world can die!
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If you're an independent, you don't get on TV. And in the rare instances that you do get on, you get a fraction of what that very same movie would get if it came in through Fox or Viacom.
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The first time I took acid, I made the decision that I would stay in New York and find an independent film company to get a job with.
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