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It's never fun to break someone's heart, that's so sad.
LIZ
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More quotes by LIZ
I was inspired by a question that kept repeating itself in my mind: Could I really change my life? I'd spent so many days, weeks, months, and years thinking about doing things with my life, and now I wanted to know, if I committed to a goal and woke up every single day working hard at it, could I change my life?
LIZ
I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues.
LIZ
I don't like writing in front of a lot of people, it has to be an intimate experience with people I trust.
LIZ
Whatever the tiny bubbles sitting beautifully on the surface of the absolutely delicious-looking skin around his forehead and neck were, they were doing a lot for his overall appearance...and for my heart rate.
LIZ
Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing.
LIZ
If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one.
LIZ
You can try to change New York, but it's like Jay-Z says: Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up, there's nothing you can do.
LIZ
My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.
LIZ
My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's farewell season.
LIZ
I've been writing for myself since I was a teenager - I got into top-lining for some other artists/producers, but the focus was always on my own stuff.
LIZ
God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.
LIZ
We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.
LIZ
Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12 year old.
LIZ
You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?
LIZ
I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
LIZ
If I have learned anything from my SIMS family: When a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
LIZ
I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
LIZ
If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.
LIZ
Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
LIZ
Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.
LIZ
