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It's never fun to break someone's heart, that's so sad.
LIZ
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LIZ
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More quotes by LIZ
God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.
LIZ
Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?
LIZ
Whatever the tiny bubbles sitting beautifully on the surface of the absolutely delicious-looking skin around his forehead and neck were, they were doing a lot for his overall appearance...and for my heart rate.
LIZ
Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.
LIZ
You can try to change New York, but it's like Jay-Z says: Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up, there's nothing you can do.
LIZ
I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
LIZ
I was inspired by a question that kept repeating itself in my mind: Could I really change my life? I'd spent so many days, weeks, months, and years thinking about doing things with my life, and now I wanted to know, if I committed to a goal and woke up every single day working hard at it, could I change my life?
LIZ
If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one.
LIZ
I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues.
LIZ
When stuff is coming to an end, people freak out and they act crazy.
LIZ
After all, isn't that what really draws the line between childhood and adulthood, knowing that you are solely responsible for yourself? If so, then my childhood ended at fifteen.
LIZ
I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
LIZ
My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's farewell season.
LIZ
Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
LIZ
I don't like writing in front of a lot of people, it has to be an intimate experience with people I trust.
LIZ
All around us, people were cool. By association, so were we.
LIZ
Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing.
LIZ
I've been writing for myself since I was a teenager - I got into top-lining for some other artists/producers, but the focus was always on my own stuff.
LIZ
I only work with a couple of co-writers who I'm really close with, so they always know what's going on in my life and we talk about things openly, they know every song is true to something that I'm either going through or have gone through before.
LIZ
We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.
LIZ
