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I don't like writing in front of a lot of people, it has to be an intimate experience with people I trust.

LIZ

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LIZ
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More quotes by LIZ

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Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.
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Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
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After all, isn't that what really draws the line between childhood and adulthood, knowing that you are solely responsible for yourself? If so, then my childhood ended at fifteen.
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You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?
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We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.
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You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless.
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If I have learned anything from my SIMS family: When a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
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God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.
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It's never fun to break someone's heart, that's so sad.
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My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.
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I've been writing for myself since I was a teenager - I got into top-lining for some other artists/producers, but the focus was always on my own stuff.
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If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.
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I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
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I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
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I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues.
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Whatever the tiny bubbles sitting beautifully on the surface of the absolutely delicious-looking skin around his forehead and neck were, they were doing a lot for his overall appearance...and for my heart rate.
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Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?
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I got into songwriting because I'm not very good at communicating sometimes, just my true words, so music was always my way of expressing myself and being able to put things into lyrics that I couldn't say necessarily in my everyday life.
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Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing.
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Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.
LIZ