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You can try to change New York, but it's like Jay-Z says: Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up, there's nothing you can do.

LIZ

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LIZ
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York
Dreams
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Nothing
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Concrete

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If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one.
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It's never fun to break someone's heart, that's so sad.
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I only work with a couple of co-writers who I'm really close with, so they always know what's going on in my life and we talk about things openly, they know every song is true to something that I'm either going through or have gone through before.
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I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues.
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I was inspired by a question that kept repeating itself in my mind: Could I really change my life? I'd spent so many days, weeks, months, and years thinking about doing things with my life, and now I wanted to know, if I committed to a goal and woke up every single day working hard at it, could I change my life?
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We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.
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My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's farewell season.
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Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12 year old.
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Instead, what I was beginning to understand was that however things unfolded from here on, whatever the next chapter was, my life could never be the sum of one circumstance. It would be determined, as it had always been, by my willingness to put one foot in front of the other, moving forward, come what may.
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Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
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Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.
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I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
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When stuff is coming to an end, people freak out and they act crazy.
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My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.
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I've been writing for myself since I was a teenager - I got into top-lining for some other artists/producers, but the focus was always on my own stuff.
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Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?
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God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.
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You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?
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All around us, people were cool. By association, so were we.
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I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
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