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You can try to change New York, but it's like Jay-Z says: Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up, there's nothing you can do.
LIZ
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More quotes by LIZ
We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.
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All around us, people were cool. By association, so were we.
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Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
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You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?
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My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's farewell season.
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After all, isn't that what really draws the line between childhood and adulthood, knowing that you are solely responsible for yourself? If so, then my childhood ended at fifteen.
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I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
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I was inspired by a question that kept repeating itself in my mind: Could I really change my life? I'd spent so many days, weeks, months, and years thinking about doing things with my life, and now I wanted to know, if I committed to a goal and woke up every single day working hard at it, could I change my life?
LIZ
My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.
LIZ
I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues.
LIZ
God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.
LIZ
I've been writing for myself since I was a teenager - I got into top-lining for some other artists/producers, but the focus was always on my own stuff.
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If I have learned anything from my SIMS family: When a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
LIZ
Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.
LIZ
I don't care. I'll start my own group. Rejection from society is what created X-Men!
LIZ
Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.
LIZ
If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one.
LIZ
I don't like writing in front of a lot of people, it has to be an intimate experience with people I trust.
LIZ
I only work with a couple of co-writers who I'm really close with, so they always know what's going on in my life and we talk about things openly, they know every song is true to something that I'm either going through or have gone through before.
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Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?
LIZ