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If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one.
LIZ
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LIZ
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More quotes by LIZ
I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
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Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.
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Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
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Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.
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We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.
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My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.
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You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless.
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Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12 year old.
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Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?
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Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing.
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All around us, people were cool. By association, so were we.
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I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
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God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.
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When stuff is coming to an end, people freak out and they act crazy.
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I don't care. I'll start my own group. Rejection from society is what created X-Men!
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I got into songwriting because I'm not very good at communicating sometimes, just my true words, so music was always my way of expressing myself and being able to put things into lyrics that I couldn't say necessarily in my everyday life.
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If I have learned anything from my SIMS family: When a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
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I was inspired by a question that kept repeating itself in my mind: Could I really change my life? I'd spent so many days, weeks, months, and years thinking about doing things with my life, and now I wanted to know, if I committed to a goal and woke up every single day working hard at it, could I change my life?
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My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's farewell season.
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