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You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?
LIZ
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LIZ
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More quotes by LIZ
Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?
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I don't care. I'll start my own group. Rejection from society is what created X-Men!
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When stuff is coming to an end, people freak out and they act crazy.
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My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.
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Instead, what I was beginning to understand was that however things unfolded from here on, whatever the next chapter was, my life could never be the sum of one circumstance. It would be determined, as it had always been, by my willingness to put one foot in front of the other, moving forward, come what may.
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I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
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I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
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Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.
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You can try to change New York, but it's like Jay-Z says: Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up, there's nothing you can do.
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You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless.
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Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
LIZ
If I have learned anything from my SIMS family: When a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
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I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues.
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Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.
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Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12 year old.
LIZ
Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing.
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After all, isn't that what really draws the line between childhood and adulthood, knowing that you are solely responsible for yourself? If so, then my childhood ended at fifteen.
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God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.
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I don't like writing in front of a lot of people, it has to be an intimate experience with people I trust.
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My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's farewell season.
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