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Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.
LIZ
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More quotes by LIZ
You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?
LIZ
If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one.
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We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.
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It's never fun to break someone's heart, that's so sad.
LIZ
Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.
LIZ
Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
LIZ
When stuff is coming to an end, people freak out and they act crazy.
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Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?
LIZ
I only work with a couple of co-writers who I'm really close with, so they always know what's going on in my life and we talk about things openly, they know every song is true to something that I'm either going through or have gone through before.
LIZ
God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.
LIZ
I don't like writing in front of a lot of people, it has to be an intimate experience with people I trust.
LIZ
I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues.
LIZ
If I have learned anything from my SIMS family: When a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
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All around us, people were cool. By association, so were we.
LIZ
My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.
LIZ
After all, isn't that what really draws the line between childhood and adulthood, knowing that you are solely responsible for yourself? If so, then my childhood ended at fifteen.
LIZ
If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.
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My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's farewell season.
LIZ
I don't care. I'll start my own group. Rejection from society is what created X-Men!
LIZ
I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
LIZ