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Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.
LIZ
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More quotes by LIZ
I don't care. I'll start my own group. Rejection from society is what created X-Men!
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You can try to change New York, but it's like Jay-Z says: Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up, there's nothing you can do.
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You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?
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I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues.
LIZ
You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless.
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Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
LIZ
My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's farewell season.
LIZ
Whatever the tiny bubbles sitting beautifully on the surface of the absolutely delicious-looking skin around his forehead and neck were, they were doing a lot for his overall appearance...and for my heart rate.
LIZ
All around us, people were cool. By association, so were we.
LIZ
It's never fun to break someone's heart, that's so sad.
LIZ
My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.
LIZ
Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?
LIZ
If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.
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I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
LIZ
God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.
LIZ
I was inspired by a question that kept repeating itself in my mind: Could I really change my life? I'd spent so many days, weeks, months, and years thinking about doing things with my life, and now I wanted to know, if I committed to a goal and woke up every single day working hard at it, could I change my life?
LIZ
Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12 year old.
LIZ
If I have learned anything from my SIMS family: When a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
LIZ
I don't like writing in front of a lot of people, it has to be an intimate experience with people I trust.
LIZ
I only work with a couple of co-writers who I'm really close with, so they always know what's going on in my life and we talk about things openly, they know every song is true to something that I'm either going through or have gone through before.
LIZ