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If I have learned anything from my SIMS family: When a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
LIZ
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More quotes by LIZ
If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.
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Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?
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All around us, people were cool. By association, so were we.
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If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one.
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God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.
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My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.
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LIZ
Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.
LIZ
I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
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I only work with a couple of co-writers who I'm really close with, so they always know what's going on in my life and we talk about things openly, they know every song is true to something that I'm either going through or have gone through before.
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You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?
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Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
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Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12 year old.
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You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless.
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When stuff is coming to an end, people freak out and they act crazy.
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I've been writing for myself since I was a teenager - I got into top-lining for some other artists/producers, but the focus was always on my own stuff.
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It's never fun to break someone's heart, that's so sad.
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Instead, what I was beginning to understand was that however things unfolded from here on, whatever the next chapter was, my life could never be the sum of one circumstance. It would be determined, as it had always been, by my willingness to put one foot in front of the other, moving forward, come what may.
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Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.
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