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We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.
LIZ
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More quotes by LIZ
If I have learned anything from my SIMS family: When a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
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After all, isn't that what really draws the line between childhood and adulthood, knowing that you are solely responsible for yourself? If so, then my childhood ended at fifteen.
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If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one.
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I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues.
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God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.
LIZ
I got into songwriting because I'm not very good at communicating sometimes, just my true words, so music was always my way of expressing myself and being able to put things into lyrics that I couldn't say necessarily in my everyday life.
LIZ
Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?
LIZ
Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.
LIZ
I only work with a couple of co-writers who I'm really close with, so they always know what's going on in my life and we talk about things openly, they know every song is true to something that I'm either going through or have gone through before.
LIZ
You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?
LIZ
Instead, what I was beginning to understand was that however things unfolded from here on, whatever the next chapter was, my life could never be the sum of one circumstance. It would be determined, as it had always been, by my willingness to put one foot in front of the other, moving forward, come what may.
LIZ
I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
LIZ
I don't care. I'll start my own group. Rejection from society is what created X-Men!
LIZ
Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing.
LIZ
Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.
LIZ
You can try to change New York, but it's like Jay-Z says: Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up, there's nothing you can do.
LIZ
You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless.
LIZ
My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.
LIZ
Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12 year old.
LIZ
I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
LIZ