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We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.

LIZ

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LIZ
Tonight
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Even
Virus
Never
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Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.
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Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?
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It's never fun to break someone's heart, that's so sad.
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Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
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God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.
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After all, isn't that what really draws the line between childhood and adulthood, knowing that you are solely responsible for yourself? If so, then my childhood ended at fifteen.
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All around us, people were cool. By association, so were we.
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You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless.
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Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing.
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If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one.
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I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
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You can try to change New York, but it's like Jay-Z says: Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up, there's nothing you can do.
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If I have learned anything from my SIMS family: When a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
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I've been writing for myself since I was a teenager - I got into top-lining for some other artists/producers, but the focus was always on my own stuff.
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Instead, what I was beginning to understand was that however things unfolded from here on, whatever the next chapter was, my life could never be the sum of one circumstance. It would be determined, as it had always been, by my willingness to put one foot in front of the other, moving forward, come what may.
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If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.
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You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?
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