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Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.
LIZ
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LIZ
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Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing.
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Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?
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I don't like writing in front of a lot of people, it has to be an intimate experience with people I trust.
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Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12 year old.
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Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.
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Instead, what I was beginning to understand was that however things unfolded from here on, whatever the next chapter was, my life could never be the sum of one circumstance. It would be determined, as it had always been, by my willingness to put one foot in front of the other, moving forward, come what may.
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If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one.
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If I have learned anything from my SIMS family: When a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
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If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.
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I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues.
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My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.
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When stuff is coming to an end, people freak out and they act crazy.
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I only work with a couple of co-writers who I'm really close with, so they always know what's going on in my life and we talk about things openly, they know every song is true to something that I'm either going through or have gone through before.
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I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
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I was inspired by a question that kept repeating itself in my mind: Could I really change my life? I'd spent so many days, weeks, months, and years thinking about doing things with my life, and now I wanted to know, if I committed to a goal and woke up every single day working hard at it, could I change my life?
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My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's farewell season.
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We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.
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I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
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