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Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.
LIZ
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More quotes by LIZ
I've been writing for myself since I was a teenager - I got into top-lining for some other artists/producers, but the focus was always on my own stuff.
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My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's farewell season.
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Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?
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My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.
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When stuff is coming to an end, people freak out and they act crazy.
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God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.
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If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.
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I don't like writing in front of a lot of people, it has to be an intimate experience with people I trust.
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Whatever the tiny bubbles sitting beautifully on the surface of the absolutely delicious-looking skin around his forehead and neck were, they were doing a lot for his overall appearance...and for my heart rate.
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If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one.
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All around us, people were cool. By association, so were we.
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It's never fun to break someone's heart, that's so sad.
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Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.
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You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?
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You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless.
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Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing.
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I don't care. I'll start my own group. Rejection from society is what created X-Men!
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We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.
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I was inspired by a question that kept repeating itself in my mind: Could I really change my life? I'd spent so many days, weeks, months, and years thinking about doing things with my life, and now I wanted to know, if I committed to a goal and woke up every single day working hard at it, could I change my life?
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I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
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