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Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.
LIZ
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LIZ
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More quotes by LIZ
Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
LIZ
Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12 year old.
LIZ
My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.
LIZ
You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?
LIZ
You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless.
LIZ
Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?
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I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
LIZ
I only work with a couple of co-writers who I'm really close with, so they always know what's going on in my life and we talk about things openly, they know every song is true to something that I'm either going through or have gone through before.
LIZ
I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues.
LIZ
Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.
LIZ
It's never fun to break someone's heart, that's so sad.
LIZ
We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.
LIZ
I got into songwriting because I'm not very good at communicating sometimes, just my true words, so music was always my way of expressing myself and being able to put things into lyrics that I couldn't say necessarily in my everyday life.
LIZ
After all, isn't that what really draws the line between childhood and adulthood, knowing that you are solely responsible for yourself? If so, then my childhood ended at fifteen.
LIZ
Whatever the tiny bubbles sitting beautifully on the surface of the absolutely delicious-looking skin around his forehead and neck were, they were doing a lot for his overall appearance...and for my heart rate.
LIZ
God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.
LIZ
When stuff is coming to an end, people freak out and they act crazy.
LIZ
Instead, what I was beginning to understand was that however things unfolded from here on, whatever the next chapter was, my life could never be the sum of one circumstance. It would be determined, as it had always been, by my willingness to put one foot in front of the other, moving forward, come what may.
LIZ
I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
LIZ
I don't like writing in front of a lot of people, it has to be an intimate experience with people I trust.
LIZ