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If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.
LIZ
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More quotes by LIZ
You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?
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I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
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I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues.
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All around us, people were cool. By association, so were we.
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Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12 year old.
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You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless.
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When stuff is coming to an end, people freak out and they act crazy.
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After all, isn't that what really draws the line between childhood and adulthood, knowing that you are solely responsible for yourself? If so, then my childhood ended at fifteen.
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I was inspired by a question that kept repeating itself in my mind: Could I really change my life? I'd spent so many days, weeks, months, and years thinking about doing things with my life, and now I wanted to know, if I committed to a goal and woke up every single day working hard at it, could I change my life?
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I don't care. I'll start my own group. Rejection from society is what created X-Men!
LIZ
My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's farewell season.
LIZ
Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.
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Instead, what I was beginning to understand was that however things unfolded from here on, whatever the next chapter was, my life could never be the sum of one circumstance. It would be determined, as it had always been, by my willingness to put one foot in front of the other, moving forward, come what may.
LIZ
My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.
LIZ
If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one.
LIZ
We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.
LIZ
I've been writing for myself since I was a teenager - I got into top-lining for some other artists/producers, but the focus was always on my own stuff.
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You can try to change New York, but it's like Jay-Z says: Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up, there's nothing you can do.
LIZ
God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.
LIZ
If I have learned anything from my SIMS family: When a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
LIZ
