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My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.
LIZ
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All around us, people were cool. By association, so were we.
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Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.
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Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.
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Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
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My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's farewell season.
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I don't like writing in front of a lot of people, it has to be an intimate experience with people I trust.
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I don't care. I'll start my own group. Rejection from society is what created X-Men!
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Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12 year old.
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I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
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You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless.
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I was inspired by a question that kept repeating itself in my mind: Could I really change my life? I'd spent so many days, weeks, months, and years thinking about doing things with my life, and now I wanted to know, if I committed to a goal and woke up every single day working hard at it, could I change my life?
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I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues.
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Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?
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God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.
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I've been writing for myself since I was a teenager - I got into top-lining for some other artists/producers, but the focus was always on my own stuff.
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I only work with a couple of co-writers who I'm really close with, so they always know what's going on in my life and we talk about things openly, they know every song is true to something that I'm either going through or have gone through before.
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