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I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
LIZ
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LIZ
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More quotes by LIZ
If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.
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Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.
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I don't like writing in front of a lot of people, it has to be an intimate experience with people I trust.
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Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing.
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After all, isn't that what really draws the line between childhood and adulthood, knowing that you are solely responsible for yourself? If so, then my childhood ended at fifteen.
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Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?
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God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.
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Instead, what I was beginning to understand was that however things unfolded from here on, whatever the next chapter was, my life could never be the sum of one circumstance. It would be determined, as it had always been, by my willingness to put one foot in front of the other, moving forward, come what may.
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My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's farewell season.
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It's never fun to break someone's heart, that's so sad.
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You can try to change New York, but it's like Jay-Z says: Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up, there's nothing you can do.
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You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?
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My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.
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Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.
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You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless.
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If I have learned anything from my SIMS family: When a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
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Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
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I was inspired by a question that kept repeating itself in my mind: Could I really change my life? I'd spent so many days, weeks, months, and years thinking about doing things with my life, and now I wanted to know, if I committed to a goal and woke up every single day working hard at it, could I change my life?
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