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I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
LIZ
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More quotes by LIZ
You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?
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Whatever the tiny bubbles sitting beautifully on the surface of the absolutely delicious-looking skin around his forehead and neck were, they were doing a lot for his overall appearance...and for my heart rate.
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If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.
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You can try to change New York, but it's like Jay-Z says: Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up, there's nothing you can do.
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Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.
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I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
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Who hasn't made mistakes? I once french kissed a dog at a party to try to impress what turned out to be a very tall 12 year old.
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After all, isn't that what really draws the line between childhood and adulthood, knowing that you are solely responsible for yourself? If so, then my childhood ended at fifteen.
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God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.
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If you're ordering me an edible arrangement to say thanks, I'd prefer a meat one.
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If I have learned anything from my SIMS family: When a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
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Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing.
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We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.
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When stuff is coming to an end, people freak out and they act crazy.
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I don't need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress. You know, there are some things that are actually harder to do with two people. Such as monologues.
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I was inspired by a question that kept repeating itself in my mind: Could I really change my life? I'd spent so many days, weeks, months, and years thinking about doing things with my life, and now I wanted to know, if I committed to a goal and woke up every single day working hard at it, could I change my life?
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Instead, what I was beginning to understand was that however things unfolded from here on, whatever the next chapter was, my life could never be the sum of one circumstance. It would be determined, as it had always been, by my willingness to put one foot in front of the other, moving forward, come what may.
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Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.
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Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.
LIZ
All around us, people were cool. By association, so were we.
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