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I'm 37, please don't make me go to Brooklyn.
LIZ
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More quotes by LIZ
I don't like writing in front of a lot of people, it has to be an intimate experience with people I trust.
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I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
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We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show. Not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get.
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You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless.
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I've been writing for myself since I was a teenager - I got into top-lining for some other artists/producers, but the focus was always on my own stuff.
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Instead, what I was beginning to understand was that however things unfolded from here on, whatever the next chapter was, my life could never be the sum of one circumstance. It would be determined, as it had always been, by my willingness to put one foot in front of the other, moving forward, come what may.
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You didn't realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?
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I was inspired by a question that kept repeating itself in my mind: Could I really change my life? I'd spent so many days, weeks, months, and years thinking about doing things with my life, and now I wanted to know, if I committed to a goal and woke up every single day working hard at it, could I change my life?
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My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's farewell season.
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It's never fun to break someone's heart, that's so sad.
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God, three weddings in one day, I'm going to be in Spanx for 12 hours. My elastic line is gonna get infected again.
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If I have learned anything from my SIMS family: When a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.
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Now I'm heading home for a nooner, which is what I call having pancakes for lunch.
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Whatever the tiny bubbles sitting beautifully on the surface of the absolutely delicious-looking skin around his forehead and neck were, they were doing a lot for his overall appearance...and for my heart rate.
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If reality TV has taught us anything, it's that you can't keep people with no shame down.
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When stuff is coming to an end, people freak out and they act crazy.
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Lizzing is a combination of laughing and whizzing.
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My mom used to send me articles about how older virgins are considered good luck in Mexico.
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I don't care. I'll start my own group. Rejection from society is what created X-Men!
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Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French and hasn't cried once today? This moi.
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