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Cows are the Devil's handmaidens.

Linda Howard

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Linda Howard
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: August 3
Author
Novelist
Writer
State of Alabama
Linda S. Howington
Devil
Handmaidens
Cows

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Death isn't peaceful it is just nothing. Everything is gone. No more sunrises, no more hopes, no more fears. Nothing.
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Honey, the only experts in PMS are men. That's why men are so good at fighting wars they learned Escape and Evade at home.
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What are you doing?” she cried in protest. “Playing,” he said, the single word rough, almost guttural.
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Do you know why men name their cocks? No, why? she asked, trying to stifle her laughter. So most of the major decisions in their lives won’t be made by a total stranger.
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If you're looking for Mr. Perfect, you‟re going to spend your whole life being disappointed, because he doesn‟t exist. You have to get the best deal you can, but there will always be problems.
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Life's too short to waste it on someone you can't trust. You should be able to depend on the man you love not to lie to you or cheat on you. If you have that as a base, you can work on the other stuff.
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If death turned out to be a lack of being rather than a lack of consciousness, well, then, that sucked.
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He supposed he knew, rationally, that she wasn't the prettiest woman in the world, but if his eyes saw any imperfections, his heart didn't care.
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...We have seven people who knew the skewers were there: the wedding planner, the reception hall manager, the dressmaker, the florist, the veil-maker, the cake-maker, and the caterer. I haven't ruled out the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker, either.
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I'm not holding you against your will I'm holding you against your car.
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He needed a woman. Bad.
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I’m Sam Donovan.” “I know who you are. Mrs. Kulavich told me. I’m Jaine Bright.” “I know. She told me. She even told me how you spell your name.” Now, how on earth had Mrs. Kulavich known that?
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The bad thing about living in a small town was that everything became a personal issue. The good thing about living in a small town was that everything became a personal issue. During times of trouble, the support system was massive.
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Okay, let me get a pen. There were rustling noises. I can't find one. More noises. Okay,shoot. You found a pen? No, but I have a can of Cheez Whiz. I'll write your number on the counter with it, then find a pen and copy it. Jaine recited her number and listened to the spewing noise as Shelley Cheez-Whizzed it on her countertop.
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I have a real low tolerance for parasites, and you're so close to the limit that I'm already reaching for the flea powder.
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Don’t kiss me,” she said warningly. “I don’t intend to,” he replied, smiling a little. “I don’t have my whip and chair with me.
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His mouth was hot and hungry, and he kissed the way no man should kiss and still be allowed to run free.
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Women were always complications, bless their perverse little hearts.
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Was the period of happiness worth the unhappiness that followed a breakup? Most people seemed to think so, because they got on the love train time and time again.
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Are you making fun of my hero complex?' Yeah.
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