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Honey, the only experts in PMS are men. That's why men are so good at fighting wars they learned Escape and Evade at home.

Linda Howard

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Linda Howard
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: August 3
Author
Novelist
Writer
State of Alabama
Linda S. Howington
Fighting
War
Evade
Home
Honey
Good
Experts
Men
Wars
Escape
Learned

More quotes by Linda Howard

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Was the period of happiness worth the unhappiness that followed a breakup? Most people seemed to think so, because they got on the love train time and time again.
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Don’t kiss me,” she said warningly. “I don’t intend to,” he replied, smiling a little. “I don’t have my whip and chair with me.
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Life's too short to waste it on someone you can't trust. You should be able to depend on the man you love not to lie to you or cheat on you. If you have that as a base, you can work on the other stuff.
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Okay, let me get a pen. There were rustling noises. I can't find one. More noises. Okay,shoot. You found a pen? No, but I have a can of Cheez Whiz. I'll write your number on the counter with it, then find a pen and copy it. Jaine recited her number and listened to the spewing noise as Shelley Cheez-Whizzed it on her countertop.
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Women were always complications, bless their perverse little hearts.
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He lifted the arm covering his eyes and turned his head to glare at her. I knew you were trouble the first time I saw you. What do you mean, trouble? She sat up, glaring back at him. I am not trouble! I'm a very nice person except when I have to deal with jerks! You're the worst kind of trouble, he snapped. You're marrying troubl
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The bad thing about living in a small town was that everything became a personal issue. The good thing about living in a small town was that everything became a personal issue. During times of trouble, the support system was massive.
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The world was divided into two groups: those who showered at night, and those who showered in the morning.
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I'm not holding you against your will I'm holding you against your car.
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Death isn't peaceful it is just nothing. Everything is gone. No more sunrises, no more hopes, no more fears. Nothing.
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If death turned out to be a lack of being rather than a lack of consciousness, well, then, that sucked.
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If you're looking for Mr. Perfect, you‟re going to spend your whole life being disappointed, because he doesn‟t exist. You have to get the best deal you can, but there will always be problems.
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What are you doing?” she cried in protest. “Playing,” he said, the single word rough, almost guttural.
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Are you making fun of my hero complex?' Yeah.
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I have a real low tolerance for parasites, and you're so close to the limit that I'm already reaching for the flea powder.
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His mouth was hot and hungry, and he kissed the way no man should kiss and still be allowed to run free.
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...We have seven people who knew the skewers were there: the wedding planner, the reception hall manager, the dressmaker, the florist, the veil-maker, the cake-maker, and the caterer. I haven't ruled out the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker, either.
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Do you know why men name their cocks? No, why? she asked, trying to stifle her laughter. So most of the major decisions in their lives won’t be made by a total stranger.
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He needed a woman. Bad.
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Cows are the Devil's handmaidens.
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