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I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They'd eaten each other.

Lily Tomlin

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Lily Tomlin
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: September 1
Actress
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Detroit
Michigan
Mary Jean Tomlin
Mary Jean Lily Tomlin
Eaten
Bought
Boxes
Inside
Animal
Nothing
Crackers

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When I've had a meltdown, people will say to me, Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor.
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I guess if people couldn't profit from war I don't think there would be war.
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There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
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9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn't really happened, but it has come closer.
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When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy then you get two feelings for the price of one.
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If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up?
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If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
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Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
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You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
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If trying harder doesn't work, try softer.
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If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
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Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.
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Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
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If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.
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Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
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You can't expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it's a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
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Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
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I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves… I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
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Thank God kids never mean well
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I'm not a religious person. I don't have any desire. To me it's imitative of a conventional culture. I'm all for it for anybody. I totally have a free and open feeling about how other humans want to live their lives. It's just not something that has any real significance for me.
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