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I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They'd eaten each other.

Lily Tomlin

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Lily Tomlin
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: September 1
Actress
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Detroit
Michigan
Mary Jean Tomlin
Mary Jean Lily Tomlin
Crackers
Eaten
Bought
Boxes
Inside
Animal
Nothing

More quotes by Lily Tomlin

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Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.
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Truth is, I've always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
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I mean yes to act out something or take chances in the performance is one thing. But in terms of a camera, whatever's captured is captured so that's a little more daunting.
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No matter how cynical I get, I can't keep up.
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You can't expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it's a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
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Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
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If trying harder doesn't work, try softer.
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The start to a better world is the belief that it is possible.
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Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
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For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
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Thank God kids never mean well
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I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves… I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
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I'm not a religious person. I don't have any desire. To me it's imitative of a conventional culture. I'm all for it for anybody. I totally have a free and open feeling about how other humans want to live their lives. It's just not something that has any real significance for me.
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But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money.
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No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.
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You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
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Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
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My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.
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I guess if people couldn't profit from war I don't think there would be war.
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You are what you think ... geez, that's frightening.
Lily Tomlin