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Thank God kids never mean well

Lily Tomlin

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Lily Tomlin
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: September 1
Actress
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Detroit
Michigan
Mary Jean Tomlin
Mary Jean Lily Tomlin
Well
Mean
Never
Thank
Kids
Wells

More quotes by Lily Tomlin

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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
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Nobody is here without a reason. I always had a different sensibility. I like a huge range of comedy - from broad and farcical, the most sensitive, the most understated - but I always wanted my comedy to be more embracing of the species rather than debasing of it.
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If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.
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When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy then you get two feelings for the price of one.
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I wonder what it would be like if we all became what we wanted to be when we grew up? I mean, imagine a world filled with nothing but firemen, cowboys, nurses and ballerinas.
Lily Tomlin
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If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
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Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that's the truth.
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The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin
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I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They'd eaten each other.
Lily Tomlin
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If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.
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Growing up in Michigan was fine...until I realized where I was.
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9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn't really happened, but it has come closer.
Lily Tomlin
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If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less.
Lily Tomlin
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When I've had a meltdown, people will say to me, Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor.
Lily Tomlin
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Sexual freedom and liberation has to be of your own making. I'm stunned when I hear about friends' children, ten or twelve years old giving blow jobs. I just don't like the girls being used or exploited in that way. It's just indiscriminate sexual relating. It's just the isolated things.
Lily Tomlin
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Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.
Lily Tomlin
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If trying harder doesn't work, try softer.
Lily Tomlin
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Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
Lily Tomlin
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You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
Lily Tomlin
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Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
Lily Tomlin