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No matter how cynical I get, I can't keep up.

Lily Tomlin

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Lily Tomlin
Age: 85
Born: 1939
Born: September 1
Actress
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Detroit
Michigan
Mary Jean Tomlin
Mary Jean Lily Tomlin
Cynical
Keep
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More quotes by Lily Tomlin

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We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.
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Thank God kids never mean well
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If trying harder doesn't work, try softer.
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I guess if people couldn't profit from war I don't think there would be war.
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The whole idea of being in captivity in such limited space, especially in a zoo, causes elephants to suffer. They develop all kinds of foot diseases. They die. They get cysts. Not only is it painful, it eventually kills them.
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I wonder what it would be like if we all became what we wanted to be when we grew up? I mean, imagine a world filled with nothing but firemen, cowboys, nurses and ballerinas.
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Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
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What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
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You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
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The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
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My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.
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Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?
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I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won't.
Lily Tomlin
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Sexual freedom and liberation has to be of your own making. I'm stunned when I hear about friends' children, ten or twelve years old giving blow jobs. I just don't like the girls being used or exploited in that way. It's just indiscriminate sexual relating. It's just the isolated things.
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If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.
Lily Tomlin
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For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
Lily Tomlin
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Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
Lily Tomlin
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I was always drawn to more the social-expression-of-culture types.
Lily Tomlin
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But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money.
Lily Tomlin