Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.
Lewis Grizzard
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Lewis Grizzard
Age: 47 †
Born: 1946
Born: October 20
Died: 1994
Died: March 20
Journalist
Writer
Fort Benning
Georgia
Thought
Frozen
Also
Dry
Grits
Trying
Chickens
Fried
Tries
Grit
Invented
Lock
Idiot
Freeze
Instant
Locks
Ought
Chicken
More quotes by Lewis Grizzard
Let's all start walking more and driving less.
Lewis Grizzard
I'd much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.
Lewis Grizzard
I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.
Lewis Grizzard
There's no such thing as being too Southern.
Lewis Grizzard
They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.
Lewis Grizzard
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
Lewis Grizzard
Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
Lewis Grizzard
If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground.
Lewis Grizzard
Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
Lewis Grizzard
Money doesn't grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.
Lewis Grizzard
Mama had an appreciation of the language. She taught me a love of words, of how they should be used and how they can fill a creative soul with a passion and lead to a life's work.
Lewis Grizzard
I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.
Lewis Grizzard
Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good for myself.
Lewis Grizzard
When My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?
Lewis Grizzard
If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi
Lewis Grizzard
If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.
Lewis Grizzard
You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'
Lewis Grizzard
Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.
Lewis Grizzard
It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.
Lewis Grizzard
In the south there's a difference between 'Naked' and 'Nekkid.' 'Naked' means you don't have any clothes on. 'Nekkid' means you don't have any clothes on and you're up to somethin'.
Lewis Grizzard