Quote

When I was a kid, you ate, and you drank, and you passed out and nobody woke you up and said, 'Let's go shopping.

Lewis Black

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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Nobody
Kids
Woke
Drank
Shopping
Passed

More quotes by Lewis Black

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It's a shame cars don't run on cognitive dissonance.
Lewis Black
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What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.
Lewis Black
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North Korea is the country that the monkeys in the Wizard of Oz came from.
Lewis Black
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My father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter.
Lewis Black
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One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'm still going to be rich.
Lewis Black
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I don't know if watching Chaz Bono will turn your kids into transsexuals, but I'm pretty sure that letting them watch Keith Ablow will turn them into assholes
Lewis Black
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Wow, you survived a blackout. You're made of stronger stuff than ice cream.
Lewis Black
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I never write anything down. I write onstage.
Lewis Black
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Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.
Lewis Black
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The Democrats have responded to the Republicans' lack of dealing with reality by truly not dealing with reality, either.
Lewis Black
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There are two things I know about life... Only the good die young but the real jerks will live forever.
Lewis Black
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I'm a selfish, little pig of a man.
Lewis Black
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I am angry that the Democrats don't have the ability to explain to Republicans that we should be able to feed people in this country, and that is not socialism.
Lewis Black
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This is what I've been waiting for my whole life. A President who's not afraid to tell the truth about being a lying a**hole.
Lewis Black
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Parenting isn't just parenting your own child.
Lewis Black
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When you compare Christmas to Hanukkah, there's no comparison. Christmas is great. Hanukkah sucks! First night you get socks. Second night, an eraser, a notebook. It's a Back-to-School holiday!
Lewis Black
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It's 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, except there's just one degree, and Kevin Bacon is Hitler. Can I play? Let's see. Mother Teresa had a mustache. Hitler had a mustache. Mother Teresa is Hitler!
Lewis Black
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The one thing I think we learned this year is that the Democrats and the Republicans are completely worthless.
Lewis Black
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You realize that for all the shenanigans that go on in the big circus of politics, everybody wakes up and goes to work.
Lewis Black
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I can pretty much guarantee that if I do a show in a comedy club, there will be someone who will come out of the audience and tell me the worst joke ever. It's just a guarantee.
Lewis Black