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If you're going to vote for somebody because you think they have a great faith in God, you'd better be sure that God has faith in them.
Lewis Black
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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Thinking
Vote
Somebody
Sure
Faith
Better
Great
Going
Think
More quotes by Lewis Black
There is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bllodeshot eye.
Lewis Black
I do the same gig. I might change it a little I might slow it down if I'm in the South. I talk fast, and they're not used to people talking that fast.
Lewis Black
If you yell about one woman, you're not a misogynist. If I yell about Michelle Bachman, that doesn't make me a misogynist. If I compare all women to Michelle Bachman, then I'm a misogynist.
Lewis Black
Nyquil comes in two colors, red and green, and it's the only thing on the planet that tastes like red and green.
Lewis Black
Republicans and Democrats can barely do what they're supposed to do, and they sure can't do math!
Lewis Black
There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.
Lewis Black
No matter what, your parents are going to worry about you. I had a tour bus and my mother still thought I was broke. Remember: It's your life, not theirs. Just because your parents sent you to college doesn't mean they bought the rest of your life.
Lewis Black
Pursue whatever it is that you want to do with your life. It is the only secret to happiness that I know except for maybe true love, that and maybe having the amazing health insurance plan that our congressmen have.
Lewis Black
I think inevitably over the course of my lifetime there's been an underestimation of the American people, and I believe they are really the ones that give me hope. There's so much of they don't know this, and they don't know that, and they're always denigrating.
Lewis Black
I don't understand how anybody's still a Democrat or a Republican. I don't know what they're basing it on.
Lewis Black
Equestrian, by the by, is the gayest word in the English language. In fact, I thought Brokeback Mountain should have been called Two Equestrians.
Lewis Black
My problem has always been with authority, and I'm sure if anybody understands that, it's people in uniform.
Lewis Black
The Droid I had actually seemed to have free will, which I thought was interesting.
Lewis Black
I do not make jokes about Sarah Palin simply because I could not live in this world if I believed she was a real person.
Lewis Black
In four days, I experienced five seasons. It was thirty, it was sixty, it was ninety, then it was twelve! And on the last day, there was thunder, lightning, and snow - together! And I hadn't done drugs.
Lewis Black
I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing.
Lewis Black
I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not.
Lewis Black
Glenn Beck has Nazi Tourettes'.
Lewis Black
Ninety percent of a shirt that not only was bright purple and green but with a design on it that, if you moved too quickly, might cause a seizure in an unsuspecting onlooker.
Lewis Black
Basically I wake up in the morning and I think everything's going to be great. I'm really kind of optimistic, and I look forward to a new day. I pick up 'The New York Times,' and I look at the front page and realize that once again I'm wrong. I start to fixate on stuff.
Lewis Black
