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There should be a law that you can't shut down the government - that you don't have that power.

Lewis Black

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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Shut
Law
Power
Government

More quotes by Lewis Black

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He smiles so much, I don't think he has a central nervous system.
Lewis Black
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There is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bllodeshot eye.
Lewis Black
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Glenn Beck is offended! Glenn Beck thinks playing the Nazi card is going too far. Glenn Beck. this is a guy who uses more Swastika props and video of the Nuremberg rallies than the History Channel.
Lewis Black
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I don't know if watching Chaz Bono will turn your kids into transsexuals, but I'm pretty sure that letting them watch Keith Ablow will turn them into assholes
Lewis Black
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My problem has always been with authority, and I'm sure if anybody understands that, it's people in uniform.
Lewis Black
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The tortoise moves very slowly, it moves towards whatever the goal is, to keep a democratic capitalistic society functioning.
Lewis Black
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My father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter.
Lewis Black
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The one thing I think we learned this year is that the Democrats and the Republicans are completely worthless.
Lewis Black
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Some people have religion as a means of solace. But, I had a dreidel, so that was out.
Lewis Black
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I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not.
Lewis Black
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I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not. So it's hard for me to come up with things, because I don't write stuff, I don't write my act down.
Lewis Black
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I've got stuff about airline mergers, which just shows that my stand-up is getting more insane by the minute.
Lewis Black
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Republicans and Democrats can barely do what they're supposed to do, and they sure can't do math!
Lewis Black
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The whole Valentine's thing is fine, but you don't back it up right next to the biggest gift-giving holiday of the year. Unbelievable. And we find it acceptable.
Lewis Black
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Most of the longer-term relationships I've known have been gay relationships. They seem to be able to hang out longer.
Lewis Black
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Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'
Lewis Black
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This is how sad my life is: I got a scar from scratching my chicken pox too much. That's my big scar story. I really have no major scars.
Lewis Black
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It's great that we're bringing democracy to Iraq. I can't wait to see how we do it! What are we gonna do, give them our civics textbooks?
Lewis Black
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Every other civilized country has determined when life begins and it's something that eludes us. We've got things that have to be done! We didn't fix that bridge because you are all down at the meeting house discussing abortion again.
Lewis Black
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I think that many things that go on in an art school have a tendency to undermine confidence, and that shouldn't be part of the ballgame, ever.
Lewis Black