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You know. I don't think I'm gonna be Jewish for very long.
Lewis Black
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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Gonna
Long
Think
Thinking
Hanukkah
Jewish
More quotes by Lewis Black
If you're going to vote for somebody because you think they have a great faith in God, you'd better be sure that God has faith in them.
Lewis Black
Wow, you survived a blackout. You're made of stronger stuff than ice cream.
Lewis Black
I get an idea about something. I just start thinking about it, and then I get onstage and I talk about it, and then I think about it some more and talk about it some more, and think about it some more and talk about it some more, until it starts to take a shape.
Lewis Black
I think comics in New York are interested in being comics. And there're comics in L.A. who are touring comics, who are certainly more interested in stand-up, but a lot of L.A. stand-ups are really looking to do something else.
Lewis Black
It's a privilege to pay taxes. Yeah! It's not a political question, folks. We have to pay for stuff.
Lewis Black
When a country wants television more than they want clean water, they've lost their grip.
Lewis Black
Republicans and Democrats can barely do what they're supposed to do, and they sure can't do math!
Lewis Black
You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.
Lewis Black
Glenn Beck has Nazi Tourettes'.
Lewis Black
Macs are not intuitive. It's intuitive to the person who created it. It's not intuitive to me.
Lewis Black
This is how sad my life is: I got a scar from scratching my chicken pox too much. That's my big scar story. I really have no major scars.
Lewis Black
I do like Guinness, I have to say, because you feel like you're eating something.
Lewis Black
See... What I felt they should have done, for our first public works project, is build a giant wall... across the entire border of Canada. Because that's where the cold air comes from.
Lewis Black
When you compare Christmas to Hanukkah, there's no comparison. Christmas is great. Hanukkah sucks! First night you get socks. Second night, an eraser, a notebook. It's a Back-to-School holiday!
Lewis Black
I was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing. No health insurance, so if something happened I was screwed. I was lucky my parents had money and my brother was willing to support me for a long time. Once I started doing standup, I had an income, and that was amazing to me.
Lewis Black
Glenn Beck is offended! Glenn Beck thinks playing the Nazi card is going too far. Glenn Beck. this is a guy who uses more Swastika props and video of the Nuremberg rallies than the History Channel.
Lewis Black
I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind off that.
Lewis Black
All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.
Lewis Black
If you stop eating donutes you will live 3 years longer.It's just 3 more years that you want a donut. < . ) < .
Lewis Black
Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone.
Lewis Black
