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If you are an adult, and you are planning to dress up on Halloween... don't. I will find you. I will hurt you.

Lewis Black

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Lewis Black
Age: 76
Born: 1948
Born: August 30
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Playwright
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Voice Actor
Writer
Silver Spring
Maryland
Lewis Niles Black
Funny
Halloween
Find
Adult
Dress
Planning
Dresses
Adults
Humor
Hurt

More quotes by Lewis Black

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Harry Reid is not funny he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and creepy.
Lewis Black
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I don't Tweet a lot because I've Tweeted things that I thought were really innocuous about subjects that are inflammatory, and the response is so insane sometimes from people.
Lewis Black
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I don't understand how anybody's still a Democrat or a Republican. I don't know what they're basing it on.
Lewis Black
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You know. I don't think I'm gonna be Jewish for very long.
Lewis Black
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Turns out we've been eating the wrong things...since the dawn of civilisation
Lewis Black
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I've got stuff about airline mergers, which just shows that my stand-up is getting more insane by the minute.
Lewis Black
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Republicans and Democrats can barely do what they're supposed to do, and they sure can't do math!
Lewis Black
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One thing I know about the rich, being rich, is that you can take money from me and tomorrow, I'm still going to be rich.
Lewis Black
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sometimes i wonder does god just not care are is he to busy ignoring your prayers
Lewis Black
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There should be a law that you can't shut down the government - that you don't have that power.
Lewis Black
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Equestrian, by the by, is the gayest word in the English language. In fact, I thought Brokeback Mountain should have been called Two Equestrians.
Lewis Black
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Every other civilized country has determined when life begins and it's something that eludes us. We've got things that have to be done! We didn't fix that bridge because you are all down at the meeting house discussing abortion again.
Lewis Black
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I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not.
Lewis Black
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The Droid I had actually seemed to have free will, which I thought was interesting.
Lewis Black
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I went to New Zealand this year, and, whew man, I know a lot of people want to go there. But let me just tell you, it's 22 hours by plane. So, if you have the opportunity, don't.
Lewis Black
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We have fossils... We win!
Lewis Black
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I think inevitably over the course of my lifetime there's been an underestimation of the American people, and I believe they are really the ones that give me hope. There's so much of they don't know this, and they don't know that, and they're always denigrating.
Lewis Black
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Pursue whatever it is that you want to do with your life. It is the only secret to happiness that I know except for maybe true love, that and maybe having the amazing health insurance plan that our congressmen have.
Lewis Black
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Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'
Lewis Black
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My problem has always been with authority, and I'm sure if anybody understands that, it's people in uniform.
Lewis Black